Choosing to Thrive with Lisa Hansen

TL;DR

Why do I feel stuck or unclear in my business and life, even when I’m doing all the ‘right’ things?

Lack of clarity and confidence often comes from being disconnected from your own preferences, values, and decision-making process. When you rely too heavily on external validation, you weaken self-trust and create confusion in your direction. Rebuilding confidence starts with self-awareness, experimentation, and learning to make decisions based on what actually aligns with you.

Build Confidence and Clarity: A Practical Approach to Thriving in Life and Business

Confidence and clarity are often treated as personality traits—something you either have or you don’t. In reality, they are developed through a series of decisions, experiences, and self-awareness practices that shape how you think and operate. Without them, it becomes difficult to make aligned choices, leading to second-guessing, inconsistency, and a lack of direction in both business and life.

Understanding how to build confidence and clarity is essential if you want to create sustainable success that actually feels fulfilling.

Self-Awareness as the Foundation

Clarity begins with understanding yourself, yet this is where many people struggle the most. It is common to prioritize external expectations—what you “should” do—over internal alignment, which leads to decisions that feel forced or unsustainable. Over time, this disconnect creates confusion because your actions are no longer rooted in what you genuinely want.

Developing self-awareness requires intentional reflection. This includes identifying your preferences, recognizing what energizes you, and acknowledging what does not. Rather than expecting immediate answers, it is more effective to approach this process with curiosity. Testing different approaches, roles, or activities allows you to gather real data about what works for you, which leads to more informed and confident decisions over time.

How Confidence Is Actually Built

Confidence is often misunderstood as something that comes from success alone, but it is more accurately built through evidence and repetition. Each decision you make—regardless of the outcome—provides feedback that strengthens your ability to trust yourself. When you consistently defer to others for answers, you interrupt this process and weaken your own decision-making ability.

A more effective approach is to make decisions based on your current understanding, evaluate the results, and adjust accordingly. Both positive and negative outcomes contribute to this process. Knowing what does not work for you is just as valuable as knowing what does, because it narrows your focus and increases certainty. Over time, this creates a stronger internal reference point, which is what confidence is built on.

Unlearning Limiting Patterns

Many of the beliefs that influence your decisions are not consciously chosen. They are shaped by early experiences, social conditioning, and repeated messaging about what is acceptable or expected. These patterns can show up as fear of judgment, avoidance of risk, or a tendency to seek approval before taking action.

To build confidence and clarity, it is necessary to examine these patterns and decide whether they still serve you. This does not require revisiting every past experience in detail, but it does require awareness of how those experiences influence your current behavior. Once identified, you can begin replacing automatic reactions with intentional choices that align with your current goals.

Reintroducing Enjoyment Into the Process

A lack of clarity is often compounded by burnout or over-structure. When every decision is tied to productivity or outcomes, it becomes difficult to recognize what you actually enjoy. This is particularly common among business owners who prioritize efficiency at the expense of engagement.

Reintroducing enjoyment into your routine is not about distraction—it is about recalibrating your energy and perspective. Exploring activities without a defined outcome allows you to reconnect with what feels natural and engaging. This, in turn, improves creativity, decision-making, and overall satisfaction, all of which contribute to clearer thinking and stronger performance.

Using Rejection as Data

Fear of rejection is one of the biggest obstacles to both confidence and clarity. It often leads to avoidance, hesitation, or over-analysis, which slows progress and reinforces uncertainty. However, rejection is not a reflection of your value—it is a source of information.

Each “no” provides insight into what is not aligned, whether that is a strategy, an offer, or a specific opportunity. When viewed this way, rejection becomes a filtering mechanism rather than a setback. It helps refine your direction and ensures that your efforts are focused on the right opportunities.

Creating Alignment Between Life and Business

True clarity comes from alignment, not just strategy. When your business decisions reflect your values, preferences, and long-term goals, it becomes easier to stay consistent and make confident choices. Without this alignment, even successful outcomes can feel unsatisfying or disconnected.

This is why building confidence and clarity is not just a personal development exercise—it is a business strategy. The more aligned you are, the more effectively you can lead, communicate, and grow your business.

A Practical Approach to Moving Forward

Building confidence and clarity is an ongoing process, not a one-time breakthrough. It requires consistent reflection, willingness to experiment, and the ability to learn from both successes and setbacks. As you strengthen your self-awareness and decision-making skills, you create a foundation that supports both personal fulfillment and professional growth.

When you trust yourself, decisions become simpler, actions become more consistent, and your path forward becomes clearer.

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Transcript for Episode 321. Choosing to Thrive with Lisa Hansen

Amy [00:00:02]:

Welcome back into the motivated CEO podcast. Today we are talking all about choosing the life that you want and how to truly thrive. The one thing we often forget is how fragile this life is. Nothing is guaranteed beyond this moment in time. So we need to embrace it and choose to thrive, choose to live a life on our terms. And today's guest is such, just a positive vibe inspiration. Like, Lisa, you're just amazing. I love everything about you, and I'm so happy to have you here with me today.

Amy [00:00:46]:

Welcome in.

Lisa Hansen [00:00:47]:

Oh, my gosh. Such an honor to be here, Amy. Thank you for having me. And thank you for that sweet compliment. I take that deeply to heart and I appreciate that.

Amy [00:00:56]:

Oh, my gosh. Absolutely. I think so often we don't realize the impact that we're having on others, that ripple effect that we have when we're just putting ourselves out there and helping others to step into their best self and really thrive during life. So, Lisa, tell us a little bit more about yourself. Who you are, what you do, and who you serve.

Lisa Hansen [00:01:17]:

I would love to. As she said, I'm Lisa Hansen, and I am the founder and CEO of Thriving Women's Conference, which is a community of powerful women with goals, and we focus on growth and we focus on real friendship. Not just the let me give you my business card, but the how can I know and support you and then feel that support back? And of course, the fun. I think those are three things that, as women, we are often missing in our lives and make such a difference to help you thrive. And then I also do thrive coaching, which is a program I developed, and both arms of my business focus on this definition of thriving, that is, confidently choosing what is right for you, your family, your goals, your business, if you have one, and doing it without no guilt, no shame, no fear, no doubt, no comparison. Those are the things that so often hold us back. Right. And one of the nuances of this, which is so powerful, is that when you're making those choices that are right for you, realizing and accepting and being excited about your choice may look very different from someone else and even someone else that you love and admire and being okay to celebrate what you're doing and celebrate what she's doing again, without there being any concern or competition or doubt that what you're doing isn't right because you've chosen what is right for you, because you understand who you are, what you need, and what you actually want, which, surprisingly, is not what we often think it is.

Lisa Hansen [00:02:48]:

So that's what I do. And I. I love it. It just, it lights me up. The light that you're seeing is the joy that I get from helping other women truly thrive, personally and professionally.

Amy [00:02:59]:

Yeah. You're truly making a difference. And in order to really step into the life that you want, in order to really choose that, it really comes back to clarity and unpacking that. So when someone is to the point in life where they realize, you know what? I'm not thriving. I'm just surviving right now.

Lisa Hansen [00:03:21]:

Yeah.

Amy [00:03:22]:

What is step one to uncovering? What do I actually want? I think that's one of the hardest questions for the majority of entrepreneurs to answer, is, what do I want? So how do we even start?

Lisa Hansen [00:03:37]:

Yeah. That it is. I'm amazed at how many times I'll ask someone or, you know, when you get into those, like, get to know you groups, and the first question is, tell us something you do for fun. And so many entrepreneurs, and even just women in general that I work with, are like, I can't answer that question. I have, like, a b's answer that I'm just like, this is what I say because it sounds good, or I make a joke there, but I don't truly know what I enjoy. And that's the first step, is knowing who you are. That's the first thing that we talk about in thrive coaching. It's one of the basis of the conference, is understanding who you are.

Lisa Hansen [00:04:09]:

Um, which I do. We do a lot of extras, but there's one in particular. We ask just questions, and it's so revealing to see the number of women. If I say, amy, what's. What's your favorite pizza topping? Do you know, like, if you're going to order pizza that only you are eating, what would you order as your toppings?

Amy [00:04:27]:

I love barbecue chicken pizza. Like, that is my favorite thing.

Lisa [00:04:31]:

How did you figure out that that was your favorite?

Amy [00:04:34]:

I just kept trying different pizzas, and I'm like, this is delicious.

Lisa [00:04:38]:

Yes. You tried a bunch and figured that out. You'd be surprised how many women I ask and I say, what's your favorite piece of topping? They're like, I don't know exactly, but they can tell me their husbands, they can tell me their children, they can tell me their in laws favorite pizza topping, but not their own, because they haven't taken the time to get to know what they want. And so you tried a bunch of different. And that's some of the exercises that we go through, is identifying questions that we can't answer for ourselves and then go and figuring out the answers. This is a truly trial and error scientific method back to the third grade with the Trifold poster for your science project is really being proactive about figuring out who you are and what you like and want. And it sounds stupid. And I've had women that are like, yeah, this isn't going to be helpful.

Lisa [00:05:25]:

And then they do it and they come back and say, this was the most impactful thing I've ever done, because it reveals, but it also gives you permission and time and space to figure out who you are and what you like. And the really tricky thing of why we do this is because it develops your confidence. Confidence is not something you're just born with or not, right. We see women and we're like, oh, she just naturally has confidence, and I just naturally don't. And that's just not the case. That is a false statement, a false assumption. Confidence, like anything else, can be developed, and it's truly defined as this trust in your. In something or someone.

Lisa [00:06:02]:

And when we have a question come up and we don't know the answer and we look to somebody else, we are putting our trust in them, and instead we want to trust ourselves, which means we need to be able to answer that with a knowledge where we are saying, I believe and know that the choice that I'm making is right for me. So that's the first step. And once you are on that path to get to know yourself and you start to develop that confidence, then as we go in and find clarity on your other needs and wants, it's all on this foundation of, I know who I am and I am capable and trust myself to identify what I need and what I want and then go and do it. Go achieve it.

Amy [00:06:39]:

Yeah, it's really a skill set, is what it sounds like you're saying is it's learning to trust ourselves by. By doing different things, by trying different things, by giving ourselves permission. Where do you think we lose sight of this? Because as, like, I think of my kids and they are just like the most confident little people. Like, they'll put on stuff that doesn't match and they're like, I look amazing. So at what point in our life do you think we start to lose sight of that?

Lisa [00:07:11]:

Some of it is even at that age. So some kids have a parent like you that's like, sweet. You look, in my opinion, crazy, but you think you're awesome. And so I'm like, I'm going to support you. But a lot of people from a very young age do not receive that kind of support. And it's met with criticism and with doubt, whether it's from parents, whether it's from friends, whether it's their own internal voice, seeing someone else receiving praise and then looking at themselves and saying, I look different, so maybe I'm wrong. And that's actually a question that we ask at the end of every thrive coaching session, is identifying, hey, what were you taught either directly or modeled for you, or that you observed as a child or throughout your life, that taught you about what you believe about yourself or taught you about your need of certainty or taught you about what kind of goals are right? And we get to decide, this is this crazy thing, Amy, is that we have all these thoughts every day, right? They are not true just because we think them. And so we get to decide and need to decide and stop them and say, is this just because I thought it? Is this something I believe? Is this something I want to live? And so as we go through grad coaching and through your life, you're bringing up those things that you were taught as a child, and you get to say, hey, I was taught that my clothes need to match.

Lisa [00:08:28]:

Do I still believe that's true? Is that something I want to live by or is it not? Do I actually truly trust myself to make colorful choices that not everyone's going to love, but that I do? So it starts really young. And again, it can come from direct, indirect, it can come from our own observations. It can come from the way that our friends respond to us or respond to other people. I know I learned a lot as a child watching people respond to other people. I learned both good and bad, but it starts really early, and we carry that into an adulthood without realizing it. And so that is one of my favorite questions to ask in coaching and to see people's wheels turn and realize the things they're doing and where it came from and whether or not they actually want to keep doing those things.

Amy [00:09:13]:

Yeah, really bringing that awareness to it is such a key piece because once you're aware of it, then you can start to question it and realize, okay, those thoughts aren't always necessarily facts, but really taking the time to get curious. Like you said, it's really a powerful, powerful tool that we can use to increase that self awareness. You know, you and I were talking before we hit record about, you know, when I first became an entrepreneur, I was afraid to fail. I came from a career where failure was not an option, where if you failed, you could potentially do harm to another human. So it's important to have that self awareness and take the time to really dig into this, no matter what business you are running right now, this is key to thriving in your life. And I want to circle back to something else you said at the very beginning was about the concept of fun. We forget to have fun. And it's sad, because I remember once I quit my nine to five, I found myself working twenty four, seven.

Amy [00:10:26]:

And if you asked me that question, what do you do for fun? I'd be like, I mean, I'm building my business. That's fine, right? But I think that happens a lot, a lot to entrepreneurs, that we forget to have fun. So what can you advise for somebody that's like, I don't. I don't know how to answer that question. I'm really struggling with this. How do we start to reintegrate fun into our lives again? Yeah.

Lisa [00:10:53]:

Well, and this is where thriving is so personal, because I will tell you, I truly have fun when I'm building my business. And so it is. It is personal to figure out what is fun for you. And that comes back to when we coach on these core needs. We each have six core needs. They were originally identified by Tony Robbins, and these are the things that drive and motivate our thoughts and our actions. And so, for some people, having a, like, detailed schedule and feeling like they're fully in control of things can be really fun and really fulfilling for them. I'm highly motivated by the need of growth.

Lisa [00:11:29]:

And so when I am crossing things off my to do list, it is like, it is a high. I don't need drugs. I don't need alcohol, like, right? Yes. Yes.

Amy [00:11:36]:

I am right there with you.

Lisa [00:11:38]:

A lot of entrepreneurs have growth as one of their highest driving needs. Significance is another one. So when we're able to give and help somebody else in a way that is unique to the skillset that we have, that feels really good, but it does come back to, without that confidence and without that clarity and that self awareness that we've been talking about, it's really hard to step out and discover what's fun for us, because all of our decisions come back to this place of I'm not sure, and I'm comparing and I'm doubtful and I'm fearful. But that's why that foundation of confidence and self awareness allows you to then go try things and know that failure is okay and know that if I find something that fun and works, that that's exciting. If I find something that doesn't work, that that's okay to have a no, because no's are super, really helpful. Sorry. Super. Really helpful.

Lisa [00:12:33]:

There we go. English was not my major.

Amy [00:12:35]:

That's okay. I'm right there with you.

Lisa [00:12:37]:

But, yeah, you come right back to discovering you, and then the more that you know about you, the easier it is to say, oh, I think I really enjoy this, or I at least want to try it and find out, which is also something that stops us up. Right. If you're concerned about what other people think, if you're concerned about failure, if you're concerned about the doubt or fear, then it really prevents you from being willing to try the things that might be fun to discover that. So again, we go deep, and we find out what motivates you and what do you enjoy, and then we push further in those directions. And it is powerful. It's powerful to find that out. And it's so clarifying. It's so exciting.

Lisa [00:13:17]:

Like, there's just so much joy in thriving and knowing yourself and confidently making those choices that are right for you.

Amy [00:13:23]:

Yeah, I think it's really important to highlight what you said there about finding the things that aren't right for you, but just giving yourself that permission to try. Try different things, try new things, and really learn to detach from the outcome. And that's something we hear all the time. Learn to detach. Learn to detach. It's a practice. It's a skill. It takes effort.

Amy [00:13:47]:

Because for a lot of us, we have these behaviors and thoughts and beliefs that go way back to our childhood, as we discussed earlier. Earlier. But taking the time and giving yourself permission, writing that permission slip. Okay. And questioning, like, what's worst case scenario? I found out I didn't like it. Cool. That's great information.

Lisa [00:14:09]:

Oh, my gosh.

Amy [00:14:10]:

Giving yourself that permission, right.

Lisa [00:14:12]:

No's are sometimes the best answer that you can find. Think about how confident you feel in your decision. If you try mushrooms and you're like, I do not like mushrooms. How confident are you in your answer every time somebody offers your mushroom after that? Like, there is no doubt. It is very strong. You're like, this is absolutely not for me. That's the clarity and confidence that we're all looking for in our business, in our personal life, and our family and our friends. And we got it from a no.

Lisa [00:14:39]:

And so don't shy away from nos. I love no. No's are powerful, and you pivot with greater understanding, and you pivot with confidence, and then you make more choices with better knowledge of who you are and what you want and how to get it.

Amy [00:14:52]:

Yeah. No's are so, so powerful. And I think really, it holds us back as entrepreneurs because we're so afraid of hearing the word no that we don't often ask because we think that we're going to be rejected. It really, really goes deep. But if you're not hearing no, you're not asking enough. Like you, I would rather hear a no than be completely ghosted by someone because, you know, no. It's just like, think about if somebody offered you, like, the mushroom example, a piece of pizza with mushrooms on it. If somebody offered me that, I'm going to say no.

Amy [00:15:27]:

Say no, thank you. I do not like this. And that's not a reflection of the person that's offering me the slice of pizza. It's just simply, I know that I don't like mushrooms, and that's okay. But really learning that no is going to help us protect our peace, is going to help us maintain those boundaries and then choose to thrive. It all goes back to this thriving lifestyle that we get to choose.

Lisa [00:15:57]:

Yes, ma'am. Yeah. And there's I will like, I am not perfect, right? Nobody is. The not being so true, the not being offended or taking it personally. When you get a no, that's something that I've had to work towards or work through. But you know how you do it? You get there by doing it, by receiving the no and then processing that and saying, okay, she didn't have time to collaborate on this project that has no impact on me. And finding out six months later that she's inviting you to collaborate on something. Right.

Lisa [00:16:25]:

Like it. It is. It is a real reaction to feel personal or feel hurt or feel afraid. And so I never want to discount those emotions. But experiencing the emotions allow you to have power over them instead of letting them have power over you. Because if you're not taking action, then you're giving the fear or the maybe outcome the power over you and your decisions. That's not where it belongs.

Amy [00:16:54]:

Oh, my gosh. What a powerful takeaway. A perfect place to wrap up this conversation. Lisa, such great insights you provided to our listeners today. Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to just share how we can choose a life where we thrive. How can we get into your world? Learn all about you. Learn about the amazing conference that you host. Tell us all the things.

Lisa [00:17:23]:

Oh, my goodness. Thank you for having me, too. It is you guys all know that are listening the power of interacting with somebody, how good it feels to have a conversation with someone where they're like, me, too. And I get it. And you're learning from each other. This is that part of that connection piece that we literally built a conference to achieve. I would love to share more about the conference and the coaching. So it is coming up this October in Raleigh, North Carolina.

Lisa [00:17:49]:

It is growing. So we just had to rent a bigger venue this year because we were busting out of the seams last year. We bring in powerful speakers that are addressing you personally and professionally because I know not all goals are, are business related. And the things, honestly, that are holding you back personally are holding you back in your business. So we need to not neglect both sides of that. Again, so much fun, so many friends we'll have. If you want to know where at the conference, you can sign up for our email updates because dates and early bird tickets are coming out soon. Actually, they might be out by the time this airs.

Lisa [00:18:22]:

Oh, my gosh, Amy, this is so exciting.

Amy [00:18:24]:

Time's yes.

Lisa [00:18:26]:

So the website is thelisahanson.com dot or Instagram. We have thriving women's conference on Instagram. And then we also have the Lisa Hansen is where we talk all things thrive coaching and more of that personal development to help you thrive there. So, yeah, come join me on either one. Come say hi. Let me know that you heard me here so that we can connect through Amy, that's always exciting. And, yeah, welcome you. If you are ready to have that clarity and confidence in your life, if you're ready to truly love yourself in your life and to feel in control, feel excited about each day, then thriving is for you.

Amy [00:19:02]:

Love it. Lisa, thank you so much for helping women thrive. I appreciate you.

Lisa [00:19:08]:

Oh, thank you. It's been a pleasure.

Amy [00:19:10]:

And until next time, cheers. To making the money you want so you can create the impact you desire.