How to Build & Grow a Thriving Online Community with Dana Malstaff

TL;DR

How can I build and grow a thriving online community that feels inclusive and supportive?

You grow a thriving community by celebrating members, creating inclusive recognition, pivoting with purpose when needed, and engaging strategically in existing spaces before launching your own. When members feel seen and valued, trust builds naturally and your community becomes a place where people stay because they belong. That approach turns a group into a movement where everyone feels they have a place to grow.

Dana Malstaff on How to Build a Thriving Online Community

The Power of Initial Success

Dana Malstaff's community started with a pivotal moment: one hundred members joined her Facebook group instantly. That was not just a number—it was the foundation of a movement.

In the early stages, the community celebrated every hundred members with dance parties. These celebrations marked growth with joy and acknowledgment. Even as the group scaled and those activities became impractical, that foundation of celebration and inclusion remained central to their culture.

Build an Inclusive Environment

A community thrives when members feel seen, heard, and valued. Dana created initiatives like "Boss Mom of the Week," featuring members on the Boss Mom blog. This was not just promotion—it was authentic recognition of individual contributions and stories.

Sharing member stories built legitimacy and belonging. It also improved SEO, drove traffic, and elevated brand visibility. When members appear alongside recognized names like Forbes, it adds credibility and influence to the entire community.

Pivot With Purpose

Dana's journey included purposeful pivots. What began as a vision for a productivity app evolved into a community-focused endeavor. A spontaneous question about whether the app needed community led her to realize her true mission was building and sustaining a thriving community.

She also noticed Facebook shifting toward entertainment, making it less supportive for small business communities. That prompted her to explore alternatives like Circle for more intimate, paid communities.

Embrace Change for Growth

A transformative moment inspired by the movie "Dune" led Dana to close her existing Facebook group and commit fully to Boss Mom Plus. The decision faced pushback, but it showed her commitment to serving moms through a dedicated platform.

Boss Mom Plus sets new standards for business for moms, offering flexible schedules and recognizing seasonal work preferences. Moving away from Facebook created a tailored, supportive environment for mom entrepreneurs.

Personal Recognition and Clear Vision

Dana's philosophy centers on personal recognition and a clear vision. Communities should champion love and support, not judgment. Effective movements thrive on shared visions and collective commitment to solving common challenges.

She also emphasizes avoiding jargon and maintaining clarity in community goals. That makes it easier for members to understand the purpose and stay engaged.

Become Micro Famous First

A key strategy was becoming "micro famous" in established spaces before launching her own community. Dana conducted market research by asking opinions and decisions in existing groups, building connections, and actively providing value.

This targeted engagement helped her gain insights and followers, creating a solid foundation for her community before it even launched.

Revolutionize Motherhood and Entrepreneurship

Dana's work has changed the narrative for mothers by promoting self-belief and community building. She advocates for moms to pursue passions while raising children, setting a positive example for the next generation.

Her vision is that children see parents living fulfilled lives, embodying mentorship rather than just management.

Final Thoughts

Dana Malstaff's story shows the power of building communities based on belonging, making confident decisions, and creating supportive environments. Her approach sets a benchmark for inclusive, thriving communities where everyone feels they belong.

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Transcript for Episode 356. Building an Online Community From the Ground Up

Community. It's a term that we hear all the time in the online space. But how do you create a community that won't let you fail? What do you do in business when things are going okay, but you know that you need something bigger, something better is coming to. Well, today's guest, Dana Maustaff, is the founder and CEO of Bossmom and creator of nurture to convert, a system that teaches moms how to start, run, and scale a business that doesn't keep you from your family. And I cannot wait for this conversation, because Dana has built a massive community. I am talking massive. 73,000 plus. 73,000.

Amy [00:00:58]:

And you have had over 30,000 students go through your programs. Holy cow. That's incredible. So, Dana, tell us your secrets. Welcome into the podcast. How did you create this massive, massive level of success?

Dana Malstaff [00:01:16]:

Oh, well, and it's so funny because it depends on what circle you hang out in as to whether or not I. That's. That's big. Um, there's a couple things. So, number one. Number one is that that community is belonging, right? So when you've come into a space and it feels like they've just thrown a bunch of people that bought the same product into that space, or, um, you just have a bunch of people that joined because the title of the community sounded good, but there isn't any belonging, right. People connect with other people when they feel like they one of a couple things, dislike the same things, have the same struggles, or love the same things, right. There is no shortage of banned fan communities and swifties and things like that because they band together around what they love.

Dana Malstaff [00:02:08]:

There is no shortage of people that like to complain about things they don't like about a particular thing, right? And there is no shortage of places where people come together because they have shared experiences. You know when you watch a movie and somebody goes off to war and they have nothing in common, they're completely different human beings. And when they come back, they're best friends for life because they've shared the experience. First off, motherhood is a shared experience. It's like going off to war. You just. Nobody told you. They told you you were going off to a field of love and hugs, right? It was a lie.

Amy [00:02:44]:

That's a lie.

Dana Malstaff [00:02:45]:

And all of a sudden, you're in a war zone and you're like, oh, my gosh, 20% of the time, it's the love and hugs. And so when we look at community, a lot of times what people try to do is they try to build a space where they are ruling over with their intelligence. Like, I'm going to will this experience for people, because I'm a smart human being who has things to say. And part of why I think I've been successful is I'm a big believer in behavioral psychology, and I'm a talker, right? I have no problem being the one who talks all the time, is in front of the room, runs everything. But I have gotten, because of that, a lot of training back in my corporate days about facilitating, and one of the biggest things that one of my mentors taught me before I ever started my business is the ability to stand back and not talk, which is intensely difficult for a talker like me. And I'm a Gemini, and I'm a seven, and I'm a manifest generator. Like, every possible thing you could look up for me, and they're like, I get told my throat chakra is like. And I'm like.

Dana Malstaff [00:03:50]:

I mean, it makes me giggle because I think a throw chakra sounds funny, but I'm like, okay, talking is my thing. So being quiet is something. So, when you go into a community, the reason I think I've been able to be so successful, and then now we've systematized and helped people understand this, and it's human. It's not just a business strategy, it's a human strategy, is that you facilitate a community. You don't manage a community. You facilitate it. You facilitate connection. You facilitate camaraderie.

Dana Malstaff [00:04:19]:

You create shared experiences. You create the. We call it the common enemy. The things that you wish, think, are broken about the world. And that is where loyalty is brewed. And when loyalty comes around, that's when everybody bands together. And when you become the reason. I've gotten a call from someone from our space, from a long time ago, and she's like, hey, I just had my first in person event in Costa Rica.

Dana Malstaff [00:04:43]:

Like, 100 women flew out here. We're here. She's like, I kid you not 98% of us met each other in your community. And she's like, I had to give you a call to be like, oh, my gosh, six, seven years in the making, but everybody in this room is because of you. I didn't do anything. I was having my coffee. I was probably trying to figure out why I have two amazing children separately, but when they're together, they make me miserable. Why? Why did they do that to each other? It's so they cannot sit in a car together for more than ten minutes without infringing upon each other's, like, will to live.

Dana Malstaff [00:05:18]:

Oh, my gosh, it's so hard. But while that's happening, something for my community has brought all of these people together. And community is this intensely powerful thing. And so that, that is the, like, the highest level answer I can give of why I was successful. I mean, of course I'd like to think it's because I'm super smart and super awesome, but the fact is that understanding how humans work and how to get humans to feel loved, feel connected, feel valuable, feel heard, and feel like they've found their home. Like, that's the key to any brand or any space actually being sustainable.

Amy [00:05:59]:

Oh, my gosh, that's so true. Creating that feeling of belonging, creating those feelings in others, it's one of those things that we don't often take the time to step back and really ask ourselves, am I doing this or am I just creating things? Am I just creating spaces and things for people? And it really starts to become an uphill battle. And it can be very draining as a leader, when you're facilitating these things, when you're pouring so much time, energy, effort into all the things, but you're forgetting what is at the heart of community, and that's belonging. That's a feeling. You can't buy that. That is something that you really have to cultivate.

Dana Malstaff [00:06:46]:

Yeah, well, and think about any brand that you buy. I mean, I think about my kids that are like nine and eleven and how they are exuding their personality. We buy things because it says something about us. We buy brands that tells the world, or that we would like the world to see that, what kind of person we are. If you've got a lot of bling and jewelry, like being bold, or you like being very passive, you want the world to know that you are a rock star. You want the people to know that you're elegant, or that you're playful or kid like, or that you're really an adult and you should be taken seriously, that you're a rebel. My daughter likes to wear the biggest, you know, chunky shoes and then now, but she's, now she's moving into a little bit older where she's wants to be a little more sporty, you know? And it's like you start to see your kids do this, and that's the communities share around that. Now, interestingly, different communities share around different things, right? So if we're talking about a boss mom community, we're all gonna dress differently, we're all gonna have different lifestyles.

Dana Malstaff [00:07:50]:

Or things like that. But we share in the camaraderie of. Of being a mom. And even then, we share in the camaraderie of moms, where your kids are part of your purpose, but not all of your purpose. Right? And if I go into another community and I say, hey, your kids are not your only purpose in life, and I'm in the wrong community. I have had people tell me I am 100% wrong, and your kids are 100% of your purpose, or you're a shitty person. Sorry. I don't know if we're sorry for the cussing.

Dana Malstaff [00:08:18]:

You're a crappy person. And I've been like, well, okay, I agree to disagree, and I think it's better for your kids for you to have dreams. I think we should look at motherhood as a mentorship, not a management. Right? We should mention, we should show our kids something to aspire to. We always said, like, you don't sacrifice your dreams for your kids. You show your kids what a good life live looks like. That's what your job is. Otherwise, what are they freaking fighting for? They're fighting for what? To have a job so they can give all their dreams up for their kids when they have them.

Dana Malstaff [00:08:50]:

Like, what a terrible cycle to perpetuate, right? And my kids can still be all of my heart. And luckily, I never run out of heart. I never run out of my ability to have love and desire and passion for things. So I'm not giving up love for my children to pursue other things. Those kinds of ideas are specific to our community, and there is a massive amount of people that live very happy lives that believe the absolute opposite. And I love those people. I love that they are who they are, and they find their people. The best part about a community isn't to judge the people who aren't in the community, but to invite them to find a space where they can feel loved.

Dana Malstaff [00:09:30]:

And you just don't happen to be that. That space, you know, like, it just. It's such a power can be such a powerful thing. One of the biggest problems I find is the clarity on what the shared vision is. A lot of what we end up helping people brainstorm when it comes to your messaging and your positioning, is that they. Their vision is very jargony, very vague, very passive, or they're trying to mix too many things, right? I see a lot of women, and they're like, I have this deep belief about this, about productivity or about decluttering about this, but I'm also going to merge in all my religious beliefs over here, and you're like, you can do that, but you got to be really clear on why. Because there's parts of you, like, there are parts of me that I don't share in the community because it's not really relevant. We call it the circles of understanding.

Dana Malstaff [00:10:16]:

Like, I have different communities for different things. I can't. You can't just like, just like your husband or your partner can't be your catch all. They can't be the only relationship that gives you every. That is an unsustainable thing. We have groups of people because they serve for different things. Just like, I don't generally talk to my mom about certain ways, things that I do with my kids, because she thinks it's weird that I don't bathe them every night. And she thinks I'm insane because in her time.

Dana Malstaff [00:10:43]:

Every night. You bathe them every night. Sounds like a lot of bathing to me. Yeah. So it's like your circles of understanding are recognizing that your communities have certain things. Being really clear on what your community share, vision of the future and what you think is broken with the world and what you guys are in a movement. Movement based communities are the best kind that you can have. Our whole nurture to convert system is a movement based marketing where you can create movement together.

Dana Malstaff [00:11:08]:

Because it's hard to inspire somebody to take action for themselves. It's very easy to inspire people to take action for the collective good.

Amy [00:11:17]:

Yeah, you made so many incredible points there. And one of my favorite things that you touched upon was like, you know, there's so many different communities out there. And that's the beauty of it, that there is something out there for everyone. And if you're not finding it, you can always create a yourself. But having that clarity is so, so key. We are living in an era where we are surrounded by information, we are surrounded by so many tactics that we don't even have the ability to think anymore as to what do I really want? We have no clue what it is, what we want, because there's so many options available. We think we need to do it like this person does, or that person. We're searching for all of these secrets.

Amy [00:12:04]:

We're constantly consuming, and we forget that we are the ones that get to create. We can create whatever we desire. But it all starts with that clarity of the shared vision. So if you are leading a community, make sure you're taking the time to go back, really analyze what is this vision, what is our mission, what are our core values? Go back to the basics and speaking of going back to the basics, I want you to take us way back, year one in the boss mom community. Now, you started a Facebook group, and this Facebook group, we all like to think, oh, well, guess what? She just woke up one day and she had like 70,000 people within it. Well, no, you started at ground zero just like everyone else. We all do. And it's very easy from the outside looking in at someone where you are to be like, oh, well, she just woke up like this and start comparing ourselves.

Amy [00:13:07]:

But tell us the reality of that. Like, you started at ground zero, right?

Dana Malstaff [00:13:12]:

Yeah. And first off, big groups aren't better. Yeah. Just so everybody knows, bigger is not always. Not always better. Okay. So I did what I recommend everybody does, which is I went and became kind of micro famous in somebody else's space. Right? Like, this idea of like, oh, I'm just going to start my own group and I'm going to start my own thing.

Dana Malstaff [00:13:33]:

But you need visibility, you need traffic, right? You need people coming in. And there's a way to get Facebook to do that for you, but it doesn't do it until it sees that you're cool. I think Facebook is a lot like high school. It's very fickle. But if it sees that you're cool, it's going to let everybody know. And, like, that's so you can create engagement in certain ways. But I went to a couple other groups, other groups for female entrepreneurs. Weren't any real mom entrepreneurs.

Dana Malstaff [00:14:02]:

Spaces that were, you know, of any note. There's a couple, like, open groups and things like that, but nothing that was a real community. But in these other places, I did what I would recommend to people, which is I market researched. Like, that's what I did. So I don't, don't go in and try and be an expert in a space. Nobody asked. Right? And I say this with love. Like, you have an immense amount of knowledge to get, but try and give your kids that knowledge.

Dana Malstaff [00:14:26]:

They don't care. Like, so other people don't need to be told. They don't want to be told. They need to. They need to be open. And then to receive what you can give. One of the best ways to find your people is to use spaces to market research. The great part is they start to get to know you and what you're good at because you say, hey, I am this kind of person, this kind of coach.

Dana Malstaff [00:14:48]:

I'm working on this kind of thing, right? And I'm working on, for instance, in our, in our boss mom plus space, we had somebody who said, I'm, I'm, you know, for every woman over 40. And I was like, great. I'm over 40. I'm in. Tell me. Tell me what you want to know. She's like, I'm working on this ten day challenge. Here's the first, you know, here's the list of the topics we want to go over.

Dana Malstaff [00:15:06]:

Like, what speaks out to you right now as a coach? I want to go in and tell her, ten topics is ten too many, right? You need to go take one topic and go deep, because I can't implement all of those things even when I was 20. But what she did is she identified. She said, here's who I'm looking for. Like, if you're this kind of person in this kind of situation, here's my question. What do you think? I picked these covers for a new podcast I'm coming out with. What do you think? So I did that where I'm like, hey, I'm starting to write a book. I'd love to. Like, here are some of my chapter topics.

Dana Malstaff [00:15:40]:

What are these issues that you're dealing with? Like, hey, I'm a mom with a can toddler. Like, how who's working on this business and working on helping moms in business. What do you think about this? And so what I would do is I would go and I would ask these questions for market research. We call them decision support questions and opinion questions. Decision support is I need to make a decision. Help me make a decision. Which cover do you like? Which title do you like? I'm going to do an opt in about opt ins. Like, do I do it of how the opt in looks, how you get people in it, or what do you deliver after? And then everybody tells you, now you start to go, okay, so my ideal client cares about this.

Dana Malstaff [00:16:14]:

They resonate with this. So you get this intense amount of knowledge from your audience, and it calls out your audience. You start connecting, they start knowing what you're about, they start tagging you in places, and you become what I call microfamous in somebody else's space before you start your own space. Do that because I did that. I don't do it in more than two places because then you just become kind of somewhat seen in a bunch of places as opposed to micro famous one. Right? And there's a methodology to narrow it down to the right places, but ultimately you find one or two places and you live in those places for a little while. When I got enough excitement for boss mom, the book, and we were going to launch the podcast, and we were like, okay, great. Now we want to have this community.

Dana Malstaff [00:16:56]:

I was able to bring 100 people over instantaneously, which, to 70,000 doesn't feel a lot, but 100 people is all you need to get an engine going in a Facebook group, right? It is not. It does not take thousands of people to get. And we used to do a dance party for every hundred people we got. And that was just when lives became available. Like, we're just invented. Can we all. Can we all imagine when lives became, you know, were all of a sudden a thing? Yeah, it was awesome. And so we would do these dance parties, and then we do dance parties every 500, and then we do them every thousand, and then they just.

Dana Malstaff [00:17:30]:

It stopped being useful. Right? Like, it's okay for things that worked at a different size or at a different time to just not work anymore. And. And there's so much video and so much going on. It just doesn't work. It used to be we'd all get together and we'd do this dance party, and it was liberating. It was amazing. But now with all the stuff that just doesn't work, so be okay with stopping things that don't work anymore.

Dana Malstaff [00:17:52]:

But in the beginning, we went, and one of the things that we did, a lot of people asked me to create community, is we celebrate people, right? You want a community? Help make people feel seen, heard, valuable, valued, all of those things. So we started doing a boss mom of the week, and we would pull people from the group, and we would have them fill out a form of all these questions, and we would post it on our blog, and they would share it out, and we would go share it out. And even though all of our communities were small, they got to go to the people, and it felt. Made them feel legitimate. As a mom who's starting a business, one of the most important things is to feel legitimate, because half the people around us don't know what the heck we're doing and don't know why it works or if it works. And so there's a legitimacy problem with your partners and your in laws, and you go to the holidays and you're like, why doesn't anybody look at me like, I have a real business? And even. There's no statistics on the kinds of businesses moms are running and how they're successful or what success even means, right? So the legitimacy, we did that for a whole year where we just had a boss mom of the week for a whole first year until we didn't really need to do it in order to. To have other things that worked.

Dana Malstaff [00:19:00]:

That was amazing. We got great SEO, great traffic. Our leads work because people were going to our website, people were sharing it out. My logo all of a sudden became so much more well known, which made me getting featured way easier, right? People could say they were, they were putting on their website. So even if they had 100 people a month looking at their website, right on the front page, it said featured in Boss mom. It made us next to Forbes and, you know, it made us look legitimate, like all of those things. And it made people feel heard. And that helped build the community once that's going.

Dana Malstaff [00:19:29]:

So it's like, everybody thinks that in order to grow, you need to be smart and you need to have something that everybody wants from you. But really what people want is they want somebody to care they existed, they want to feel loved, they want to feel legitimate, they want to feel celebrated. Because the people that love us in our lives are generally pretty crappy at it. So are we. Because life is so logistical, it's hard not to get wrapped up in the logistics of making lunches and getting to practice and, you know, trying to find time for two adults to be alone together when you've got kids all over the place, like date night and things like that. So, you know, and to be older and then to have aging parents and then to, like, just so much is going on.

Amy [00:20:09]:

Yeah.

Dana Malstaff [00:20:09]:

It's like, that's the key. Find ways to make people feel heard and celebrated, and your stuff will grow without you trying to be the smartest one in the room.

Amy [00:20:20]:

Yes. It's not rocket science. It really takes that. Just taking the time to celebrate them, to make them feel like they belong, looking for opportunities to do things like you did. What other ways can we shout out, celebrate together? Can we rally around these common beliefs that we share? I mean, that right there, what Dana just taught you is absolutely pure gold. And you've done this time and time again. And the community has grown tenfold over and over from that community of 100 women into this massive community. And you just made another huge pivot in your business, which I'm sure that some people looked at you and said, are you crazy? So tell us a little bit about your decision to close that massive Facebook group that you worked for years to build and what direction you're taking now.

Dana Malstaff [00:21:29]:

Yeah, well, when we talked about, like, that vision, right. You got to have that vision, that shared vision of the future. And so there's a couple things. So I'll start with the actual story of, like, us deciding to close this thing because it shows, I think, for anybody listening, how random things can be, right? Like, it's all a pattern. Some of the decisions I'm making now, I can trace it back to that conversation that led to that conversation that led to the conversation. So I have been wanting to have a boss mom app. I thought it was going to be a productivity app, right? Like, literally tracking habits, apps, something like that. I always wanted one.

Dana Malstaff [00:22:07]:

It was like, I joked it was on my bucket list to make a million dollars off of an app, right? And I have a weird bucket list. So it was like, it's going to have it on it. So I decided now's the time I want to talk about what it would cost me, what it would look like to make an app. So I get on the phone with some people and I'm going through this process, and one of we're walking through it, and they asked some questions and they said, hey, so do you want community to be a part of hey, baby. I mean, he kissed me. So I feel very.

Amy [00:22:38]:

I love it.

Dana Malstaff [00:22:38]:

I love it.

Amy [00:22:39]:

That's mom life right there, you know.

Dana Malstaff [00:22:41]:

Just randomly coming up in the middle of my interview and kissing me. So basically he said, do you want. I'm so glad I actually remember what I was talking about. Do you have that where, like, oh, my gosh.

Amy [00:22:52]:

All the time.

Dana Malstaff [00:22:52]:

What was I talking about? Yes. But today I remember. So he asked me, he's like, do you want community as part of this app? And I, like, without hesitation, was like, no, I don't want to talk to anybody. I don't want to hide. No, I want no community. Shut it down. I don't want it. And he's like, okay.

Dana Malstaff [00:23:11]:

And then, like, an hour later, I was like, why the heck? When I say that I love people, I love community. I have deep, deep beliefs about the need for community. Like, oh, my gosh, why? Why would I do that? And I, like, marinated. Some people say meditate, but I'm not good at meditating. I just marinated. I kind of stew.

Amy [00:23:30]:

Yeah, I'm a Stewart, definitely.

Dana Malstaff [00:23:32]:

It's a better description. I'm mainly obsessive about an idea. It's so. It's much more. Yeah, it's much more steeping than it is meditation. And I really thought about it, and what I realized is I didn't like the Facebook group. It's not the people in it. I love the people in it.

Dana Malstaff [00:23:51]:

I didn't like the Facebook group because the way Facebook has structured things for one as the way it has been in direction as a company and the way its algorithms work and the way, like, it's a. It's a company that gets to do whatever it wants. And what it wants is it wants to entertain people. Like, social media has become media. It has become an entertainment space. It is no longer, in my. In my opinion, and I think in the next ten years, this will be completely evident. Like, it's no longer really for small businesses in the same way.

Dana Malstaff [00:24:22]:

Now there's tons of places, and I think people starting out there is a great thing. I think there's going to be more and more tools off of Facebook that will allow you for really inexpensive to move. And I think more small paid communities are going to be the wave of the future because people want more intimacy, more trust. But so I thought, oh, my gosh, it's a Facebook group. Why? Why is this Facebook group not. Why do I not want to be there anymore? Because it's not the people I know I talk to people all the time, and I love the people. And so we were really looking at what it is. And part.

Dana Malstaff [00:24:51]:

Part of it is, is that I am intensely sick of us moms having to play someone else's game. Like, we're constantly pleasing someone else. We're constantly fitting our square peg into someone round hole. Like, we are constantly giving up the things we want for the people that we care about, the people we love. And we are constantly being told, like, you're a mom, but by the way, do business the way everybody else does it, because, you know, half the population is a mom. So, like, are you really that special? Yes, we are, ladies. We are that special. Actually, the more kids you have, the more special you are, because I don't know how anybody does that.

Amy [00:25:26]:

Yeah. Beyond two, I'm like, wow, you guys are like superheroes.

Dana Malstaff [00:25:30]:

And I'm like, holy moly. Holy moly. So what was funny is I thought about that, the whole Facebook group, and I was like, I think we got to think about something new. And that's when we started looking at what could a community be outside of it. We found circle, which is, I did all this research, and I really, really liked it. And I had clients where we built on circle before, but I really wanted my own app, which is exponentially more expensive. Right? And so I went and talked to them, and I was like, okay, we're going to do this. We're going to move to our own app.

Dana Malstaff [00:25:56]:

And in my mind, we were going to have both. And I was going to make one this paid and what? You know, I was thinking all these things, and I went by myself to go see the movie dune. And actually the second one. The second dune, so not the first one. So everybody can understand the timeline here, but in the second one, I won't give too many spoilers. And I had an older brother, so I love Sci-Fi stuff, which none of my other girlfriends like, I own a sword and I'm a huge dork. And. Yes, and I know what it says in Elvish.

Dana Malstaff [00:26:25]:

Like, it's. It's a whole thing. So I went to this movie, and I love going to movie alone. I went to the movies, and in it, he has to kind of make this decision to cut all these ties. If he wants to be the true prophet that everybody believes him to be, he's got to, like, almost die one life to start this other life. And it was just massively, of course, it's invigorating and inspiring and it's huge, sweeping scenes and war and victory and, you know, and sacrifice. And I get in the car afterwards, and I get on vox with my team and I'm like, we're shutting the group down. Like, I have to literally die one life.

Dana Malstaff [00:27:00]:

And, like, come. If we want boss mom to be this new version of itself, we have to kill off. I mean, making a decision, like, literally, the definition is to kill your options. Like, to kill your options, you have to murder them. Just flat out murder them and be decisive about it. I say with love, right? And so that's what we did. I was like, we got to shut down. Like, the only way is I have to be all in on doing this.

Dana Malstaff [00:27:22]:

And we. And so that's part of that decision. And I had a. Not only did I had community members tell me that I didn't have a right to shut it down, which I did. Just so if anybody tells you no, you're helping me. When I stopped doing in person events, the last in person event I did, my dad died three weeks before the event. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. And I said, I am never doing that again.

Dana Malstaff [00:27:42]:

And I probably will. I mean, we all know I'll probably have another event at some point. Luckily, it was like a year and a half before the pandemic, so thank God I hadn't spent $80,000, you know, that I was going to. That everybody else lost in events, but people told me, you can't do that. You can't do that. This is this event. It's your duty. It's the greater good.

Dana Malstaff [00:28:01]:

Like, how about you just give me the group and I'll continue it for the greater good. I was like, no, you don't get to like, come into my bar and then tell me, just give it to me, because I don't like that you're shutting it down. Like, that's not how this works. I want you to actually feel the pain of what a good community looks like. Go out and try and find another free place. Because what we build with Boss mom plus is so much better. It's, and there's so much, and we run it and there's no distractions and nobody else gets to make the rules. We make the rules and they're for moms.

Dana Malstaff [00:28:28]:

We are no longer. And so really, the boss mom growth is about, is about no longer playing somebody else's game. Boss mom is doing a serious up level as a company. And we are going to now set the standard for moms in terms of business. We are going to proudly do different business differently. We are going to start gathering all the data and the numbers so that we can put out, so that a year from now, Forbes and Huffington Post and everybody else is quoting boss mom and what moms really deal with and what we really want and what business and success really looks like. Because it's nothing corporate and it's not nine to five and it's not one stream of income, and it is, and it is intensely different. We want summers off.

Dana Malstaff [00:29:07]:

Like we are seasonal, proudly. We are proudly seasonal. Right? And I want to work at night sometimes, and sometimes I want to work early in the morning, and sometimes I don't want to work at all. And sometimes I want my kids to leave me alone because all I want to do is work. And there's nothing wrong with any of those things. It's like we were doing this massive up level and it took killing off old ways in order to build that. And we still have more things that are changing for the podcast and all sorts of stuff. But I have talked forever, so I will stop talking.

Amy [00:29:33]:

No, but it's so important what you said, especially about like making the decision, because how many of us sit in a place of indecision because it feels safe, because we know when we sit in that indecision that we won't have the criticism, but we're killing ourselves inside. You know, we're creating like these businesses to do what? To create all this freedom and flexibility. But we forget that at the end of the day, we make the rules. We forget that's where our power is. That we get to choose. And it's hard. It's hard when you're having to make those decisions that you know are going to impact a lot of people. Most of us, as entrepreneurs, have experienced some form of that.

Dana Malstaff [00:30:18]:

What's the opportunity cost?

Amy [00:30:20]:

Right, exactly.

Dana Malstaff [00:30:22]:

It's like. It's like gambling. You feel like you've perfect example. You put a little bit in, and now you're scared that if you fold, you know you've lost that money that you put in, but if you keep going, you might lose it. All right, so we have this. We've scared. Scared to shut down a group, scared to shut down a program, scared to. I've shut down, like, four or five different programs.

Dana Malstaff [00:30:42]:

Right? You grow something, it no longer serves you or you morphs into things. I've changed pricing. I feel like moms need to stop feeling emotionally unstable when they pivot. Real entrepreneurs pivot all the time. They are decisive about it. Kids are decisive. Like kids. I want to be a ballerina.

Dana Malstaff [00:30:58]:

Screw it. I want to be a doctor. Screw it. I want to be this. They don't apologize. They just do it. Like, moms have this weird feeling, like we're wishy washy or we're emotional or we're too much. If we completely change our mind or we move over here, this no longer serves me, or I started it, but now I don't really like the way it is.

Dana Malstaff [00:31:15]:

Somehow I don't even know that somebody told us this. We just feel like that means there's something wrong with us. Dude, own it. I change my mind all the time because I'm moving towards something better. And it's always an up level. And I look at opportunity costs and I go, I would rather take that loss than keep losing.

Amy [00:31:32]:

Exactly.

Dana Malstaff [00:31:32]:

And that's what I want. And that loss could be emotional, financial, health. All of those things count, right?

Amy [00:31:39]:

And then we forget to ask ourselves, well, what if it all works out? What if this is the one decision that I'm making that is going to be the game changer for me? So, really learning to trust ourselves and be decisive, you're right. That is key to really stepping into the role of CEO, to promoting ourselves to this position where we are able then to pour so much more into others around us, that's what creates the ripple effect. That's what is the catalyst to creating the impact that we all desire in this world. Dana, I could talk to you all day. Oh, my gosh. This was so amazing. Thank you for pulling back the curtain and sharing your secrets where we're learning how we can get started, how we can help people feel like they belong, how to really cultivate these communities and then make decisions unapologetically to lean into ourselves and step into that version of ourselves that we know we are destined to be. You are truly changing the narrative for moms all across the world, and I thank you for that.

Dana Malstaff [00:32:54]:

Aw, that's funny. I don't always feel that way, but I'd like that to be the case. That's how you feel? I'm going for it.

Amy [00:33:02]:

Yes, absolutely. It's hard because we are in the inside. It's easy from the outside looking in to see the impact others are creating. So it's important to, you know, just realize, like, no, you are making a huge impact. And if you loved what Dana shared with us today, make sure you go over to bossmom.com and learn all about her new app, this amazing, amazing community that she has created. It is truly phenomenal. So if you are a mom running a business, please go and check it out. Donna, Dana, thank you so much for being here today.

Amy [00:33:45]:

I really appreciate you.

Dana Malstaff [00:33:47]:

Thanks for having me.

Amy [00:33:49]:

And until next time, cheers. To making the money you want so you can create the impact you desire.

Dana Malstaff [00:34:00]:

To.